Sunday, September 23, 2007

George Bush declares Mandela dead!

Here's something funny on Americans!



Friday, July 27, 2007

Zehal-e-Miskeen Makun Taghaful

Pic Courtesy : http://www.alif-india.com

Zehal-e-miskeen makun taghaful, duraye naina banaye batiyan;
ki taab-e-hijran nadaram ay jaan, na leho kaahe lagaye chhatiyan.

Shaban-e hijran daraz chun zulf wa roz-e waslat cho umr kotah;
Sakhi piya ko jo main na dekhun to kaise kaatun andheri ratiyan.

Yakayak az dil do chashm-e jadoo basad farebam baburd taskin;
Kise pari hai jo jaa sunaave piyare pi ko hamaari batiyan.

Cho shama sozan cho zarra hairan hamesha giryan be ishq aan meh;
Na neend naina na ang chaina na aap aaven na bhejen patiyan.

Bahaqq-e roz-e wisal-e dilbar ki daad mara ghareeb Khusrau;
Sapet man ke waraaye raakhun jo jaaye paaon piya ke khatiyan.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do not overlook my misery by blandishing your eyes,
and weaving tales; My patience has over-brimmed,
O sweetheart, why do you not take me to your bosom.
Long like curls in the night of separation,
short like life on the day of our union;
My dear, how will I pass the dark dungeon night
without your face before.
Suddenly, using a thousand tricks, the enchanting eyes robbed me
of my tranquil mind;
Who would care to go and report this matter to my darling?
Tossed and bewildered, like a flickering candle,
I roam about in the fire of love;
Sleepless eyes, restless body,
neither comes she, nor any message.
In honour of the day I meet my beloved
who has lured me so long, O Khusrau;
I shall keep my heart suppressed,
if ever I get a chance to get to her trick.

---------------------------------------------------------------
The above is a famous poem by Amir Khusrau. It's specialty is that each alternate line is written in Persian and Brij.It is thus a Macaronic The beauty of the poem is that it conforms to most of the rules of a traditional Ghazal. Only the rules of Matla and Radeef have to be relaxed a little to consist of only the syllable 'yan'. There is no particular Kaafiya in the poem as well.

This was the time when ghazal was being evolved. Khusrau is credited as the
"father of qawwali" (the devotional music of the Sufis), as the originator of the tarana style of music, and sometimes also as the creator of the tabla.

The classical music tradition in both India and Pakistan traces its roots to Amir Khusrau, who composed the earliest ragas, the traditional rhythmic form.

Khusrau has written in all languages Persian, Hindi, Khadi Boli, Brij and Urdu. In fact, hindi and Urdu as we know them today have great contributions from Khusrau.

Khusro dariya prem ka, ulṭī vā kī dhār,
Jo utrā so ḍūb gayā, jo ḍūbā so pār.

Khusro! the river of love has a reverse flow
He who enters will drown, he who drowns will get across.

For more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amir_Khusro
http://www.alif-india.com/



Sunday, July 15, 2007

Some phrases from Latin for all Occasions, by Henry Beard.




Excuses

- My dog ate it.
Canis meus id comedit.
- I did call. Maybe your answering machine is broken.
Sane ego te vocavi. Forsitan capedictum tuum desit.
- Baby, Sweetheart, would I lie to you?
Amicule, deliciae, num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
- The check is in the mail.
Perscriptio in manibus tabellariorum est.
- I was kidnapped by aliens. What year is it?
Hostes alienigeni me abduxerunt. Qui annus est?

Insults

- I think some people in togas are plotting against me.
Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.
- In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.
- If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.
Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.
- I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.

Things to Say to a Teenager

- Really Rad, dude!
Radicitus, comes!
- What's happening?
Quid fit?

Latin as a Computer Language

- Why won't you print out?
Cur ullum imprimere non vis?
- Don't you dare erase my hard disk!
Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum!
- I did not commit a fatal error!
Non erravi perniciose!
- Garbage in, garbage out.
Purgamentum init, exit purgamentum.

Bumper Stickers

- I brake for animals
Frena pro feris teneo
- Save the whales
Balaenae nobis conservandae sunt
- Honk if you speak Latin
Sona si latine loqueris
- When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscripti catapultas habebunt
- If you can read this bumper sticker, you are both very well educated and much too close
Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades

Sounding Smart in Latin

- Listen, would you repeat everything you just told me, only this time say it in English?
Heus, modo itera omnia quae mihi nunc nuper narravisti, sed nunc Anglice?
- Oh! Was I speaking Latin again?
Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar?
- Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.
Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur.
- Sure, I speak a little Latin.
Sane, paululum linguae Latinae dico.
- I picked it up here and there. Really, Latin isn't all that hard.
Id legi modo hic modo illic. Vero, Latine loqui non est difficilissimum.
- It looks like a tricky language, but you'll get the hang of it pretty quickly.
Lingua speciem involutam praebet, sed sat cito eam comprehendes.
- And remember, there aren't any Romans around to correct your pronunciation.
Atque memento, nulli adsunt Romanorum qui locutionem tuam corrigant.

(At a poetry reading)
- It doesn't rhyme.
Nullo metro compositum est.
- I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't a poem.
Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema.

Summertime

- It's not the heat, it's the humidity.
Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat.
- The designated hitter rule has got to go.
Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est.

(At a barbeque)
- Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face?
animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri?
- I am not lost.
Neutiquam erro.
- Do I drink this or stick my fingers in it?
Hocine bibo aut in eum digitos insero?

Pithy Latin Expressions

- By that very fact
Ipso facto
- No way
Nullo modo
- Read my lips.
Labra lege.
- A done deal
Pactum factum
- Fat chance
Fors fortis
- Accidentally on purpose
Casu consulto
- In a world of hurt
Totus anctus
- Hopefully
Utinam

Signs of the times

- BEWARE OF DOG
CAVE CANEM
- DO NOT DISTURB
NOLI PERTURBARE
- KEEP OUT
NOLI INTRARE
- THANK YOU FOR NOT SMOKING
TIBI GRATIAS AGIMUS QUOD NIHIL FUMAS

Things you may say a lot

- There goes by bleeper!
Tintinnuntius meus sonat!
- Here today, gone tomorrow.
Hodie adsit, cras absit.
- Seen one, seem them all.
Uno viso, omnia visa sunt.
- What goes around, comes around.
Id quot circumiret, circumveniat.
- God, look at the time! My wife will kill me!
Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit!
- I've got to see a man about a dog.
Cum homine de cane debeo congredi.

The Seven Dwarfs

- Fatuus
Dopey
- Medicullus
Doc
- Severus
Grumpy
- Beatus
Happy
- Somniculosus
Sleepy
- Verecundus
Bashful
- Sternuens
Sneezy

Handy catch phrases

- Have a nice day.
Die dulci fruimini.
- No way.
Nullo modo.
- Read my lips
Labra lege
- Accidentally on purpose.
Casu consulto.
- Just do it
Modo fac
- Bah! Humbug!
Phy! Fabulae!
- If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
- Read 'em and weep.
Lege atque lacrima.
- I have nothing to declare.
Nihil declaro.
- It was that way when I got here.
Ita erat quando hic adveni.

Medical conditions

- Impedimentum Memoriae
A mental block that makes it hard to remember names.
- Inopia Celeritatis
A mild dyslexia that makes it impossible to arrive on time.
- Morbus Irrigationis
A rare disease aggravated by watering friends' plants.

A few more essential phrases

- Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert.
- May barbarians invade your personal space!
Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
- May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!
Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
- Don't let the bastards wear you down.
Noli nothis permittere te terere.
- Go ahead. Make my day.
Age. Fac ut gaudeam.
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck is a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
- Beam me up, Scotty!
Me transmitte sursum, Caledoni!
- Who was that masked man?
Quis fuit ille personatus?
- Now this isn't carved in stone
Nunc hoc in marmore non est incisum
- Shark! Shark!
Pistrix! Pistrix!

Assorted phrases

- Your fly is open.
Braccae tuae aperiuntur.
- Why didn't you go when you had the chance?
Cur non isti mictum ex occasione?
- God! Look at the time! My wife will kill me!
Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea necabit!
- Watch where you're going, you jerk!
Observa quo vadis, cinaede!
- The designated hitter rule has got to go.
Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est.
- Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog.
Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi.
- Darn! There goes my beeper!
"Heu! Tintinnuntius meus sonat.!"
- I think that Elvis is still alive.
Credo Elvem ipsum etian vivere.
- If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
- You know, the Romans invented the art of love.
Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt.
- Your place or mine?
Apudne te vel me?
- I'll have a pizza with everything on it.
Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo.
- I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
- How do you get your hair to do that?
Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?
- Bad kitty! Why don't you use the cat box? I put new litter in it.
Feles mala! Cur cista non uteris? Stramentum novum in ea posui.

BALD-FACED LIES ARE LESS BALD-FACED IN LATIN

- The check is in the mail.
Perscriptio in manibus tabellariorum est.
- I have nothing to declare.
Nihil declaro.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Nescio quid dicas.
- It was that way when I got here.
Ita erat quando hic adveni.
- There's no one here by that name.
Nemo hic adest illius nominis.
- Don't call me, I'll call you.
Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo.

FLATTERY SOUNDS MORE SINCERE IN LATIN

- Have you lost weight?
Nonne macescis?
- You haven't aged a bit!
Minime senuisti!
- It looks great on you!
Id tibi praebet speciem lepidissimam!
- A wig? I never would have guessed!
Capillamentum? Haudquaquam conieci esse!

INTIMATE SUBJECTS ARE EASIER TO BROACH IN LATIN

- Your fly is open.
Braccae tuae aperiuntur.
- Your slip is showing.
Subucula tua apparet.
- You have a big piece of spinach on your front teeth.
In dentibus anticis frustum magnum spiniciae habes.
- You've been misusing the subjunctive.
Abutebaris modo subjunctivo.

SELF-ASSERTIVENESS IS SIMPLER IN LATIN

- Hey, we're all in line here!
Heus, hic nos omnes in agmine sunt!
- No cutting in!
Noli inferre se in agmen!
- No, excuse me, I believe I'm next.
Non, mihi ignosce, credo me insequentem esse.
- You're from New York, aren't you?
Nonne de Novo Eboraco venis?

LATIN BUMPER STICKERS FOR YOUR CHARIOT

- I BRAKE FOR animalS
FRENA PRO FERIS TENEO
- SAVE THE WHALES
BALAENAE NOBIS CONSERVANDAE SUNT
- HONK IF YOU SPEAK LATIN
SONA SI LATINE LOQUERIS
- WHEN CATAPULTS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE CATAPULTS
CUM CATAPULTAE PROSCRIPTAE ERUNT TUM SOLI PROSCRIPTI CATAPULTAS HABEBUNT
- IF YOU CAN READ THIS BUMPER STICKER, YOU ARE BOTH VERY WELL EDUCATED AND MUCH TOO CLOSE
SIC HOC ADFIXUM IN OBICE LEGERE POTES, ET LIBERALITER EDUCATUS ET NIMIS PROPINQUUS ADES

VANITAS PLATES

- SPEED DEMON
INCITATUS
- CRUISING
VAGANS
- BEACH BUM
LITORALIS
- MUSTANG
MANNUS
- JALOPY
FRACTUM
- SNAZZY
NITIDUS
- BEAR
URSUS
- TURBO
TURBO

CARTOONS ARE, WELL, CARTOONIER IN LATIN

- What's up, Doc?
Quid agis, Medice?
- I'll get you, you wascally wabbit!
Te capiam, cunicule sceleste!
- I tought I taw a puddy tat!
Credidi me felem vidisse!
- Thuffering Thuccotash!
Farrago fatigans!
- Beep-beep!
Cornu sono!
- Ah-bee, ah-bee, ah-bee, that's all, folks!
Abeo, abeo, abeo, actum est, comites!

THE GOLDEN AGE OF TV WOULD HAVE BEEN EVEN MORE GOLDEN IN LATIN

- Just the facts, ma'am.
Dic mihi solum facta, domina.
- Sorry about that, chief.
Illius me paenitet, dux.
- You bet your bippy!
Tuis pugis pignore!
- The devil made me do it!
Diabolus fecit, ut id facerem!
- Kiss my grits!
Osculare pultem meam!
- Beam me up, Scotty!
Me transmitte sursum, Caledoni!
- If you fail, the secretary will disavow all knowledge of your activities.
Si fallatis officium, quaestor infitias eat se quicquam scire de factis vestris.

TIMELESS LINES FROM THE MOVIES

- Make my day.
Fac ut gaudeam.
- Round up the usual suspects.
Conlige suspectos semper habitos.
- You know, Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
Certe, Toto, sentio nos in Kansate non iam adesse.
- Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert.

ALL MUSIC IS CLASSICAL MUSIC IN LATIN

- My favorite group is
Caterva carissima mea est

The Beatles The Temptations
- Cimictus
- Inlecebrae
The Rolling Stones The Who
- Lapides Provolventes
- Ille Quis
The Grateful Dead The Monkees
- Mortui Grati
- Simitatores
The Beach Boys Country Joe and the Fish
- Pueri Litoris
- Iosephus Agrestis Piscesque
ALL TV IS EDUCATIONAL TV IN LATIN

- My favorite show is
Spectaculum carissimum est
Gilligan's Island Jeopardy
- Insula Gilliganis
- Periculum
Hollywood Squares Wheel of Fortune
- Quadrata Iliceti
- Rota Fortunae
The Love Boat Diff'rent Strokes
- Navis Amoris
- Ictus Diff'rentes
Leave It to Beaver Happy Days
- Id Castori Concedite
- Dies Felices
Mission: Impossible The Young and the Restless
- Opus: Quod Fieri Non Potest
- Iuvenes Inquietesque
Hawaii Five-O Divorce Court
- Hawaii Quinque-Nil
- Curia Divortiorum
The Gong Show The Flintstones
- Spectaculum Tintinnabuli
- Illi Silices
The Price Is Right The Twilight Zone
- Pretium Iustum Est
- Zona Crepusculi

"But then the Roman Empire fell - like this: "Ooh shit!" And we went into what historians call the 'Stupid Fucker Period'. Where everyone was, "Aah, I dunno! Is that a Roman Road? Can we eat it?" And then we had the Dark Ages where..."I can't even see! Who are you?"
-Eddie Izzard.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Architectural Opulence in Today's World : Is it necessary?

***************************************************************************************
This one is on demand...thought very late. Sorry kid.
***************************************************************************************
Okay. I don't like Hafeez, and it's got nothing to do with his beauty or hairline(or the lack of it). For the uninitiated Hafeez Contractor is one of India's highest paid Architects. Ever.

Hafeez has done a lot of work in Mumbai and everywhere else. The thing with Hafeez is that regardless of the setting and the functionality of the building he builds opulent edifices. I guess that has got something to do with brand image and the fact that architects charge their fees as a percent of the project cost. Now the bigger the cost of the project, that is the more expensive material that he uses, the bigger is the pay packet that our dear architect gets to take back home. This is classically known as one of the facets of the agency problem.
Let's leave it for another time. Let us concern ourselves solely with Ar. Contractor for the moment. I will try to take up three of his well known projects. First up is the seawoods project. This one is a residential project, for the NRIs. So that would expla
in the obscene amount of money that has gone into the buildings.

PROJECT DETAILS
SEAWOODS ESTATE (NRI HOUSING)
Location, Nerul, Navi Mumbai
client, C.I.D.C.O.
cost and area, a. Phase-I 20 Lacs Sq.Ft. Rs.120 Crores
b. Phase-II 12 Lacs Sq.Ft. Rs.85 Crores
c. Club House 15000 Sft Rs.2.5 Crores
completed, Phase I & club house Jan. 98’

(source: http://www.indiabuildnet.com/arch/ahc_10.htm)
"One important planning feature is the complete vertical and horizontal segregation of movement. Vertically, the residents will have direct access to their apartments by passing the main lobbies and avoiding the need to cross driveways or other traffic routes. Horizontally, traffic segregation is achieved by the separation of residential and service routes so that these will not conflict. there also a marked difference between the vehicular and pedestrian traffic routes. Two approaches to the complex have been provided with a view to avoid traffic congestion. Each individual building will have its own parking facility under the stilt portion-avoiding the congregation of large number of parking in one area. This also avoids the residents of one block, parking cars in areas allocated to residents of another. The complex is proposed to have features of man-made water bodies, grassy mounds, downs and meadows so as to avoid any monotony in its landscape. There is also an extensive recreation ground for children and the aged-part of it located in the open, while part in the shade. The scheme also provides for a convenient and modern shopping arcade in the heart of the layout. Also planned is a school, super markets, cinema halls and medical facilities all located in close proximity."

The major problem with the place, is that functional issues, though taken care of in the planning, are not dealt with at the building level.
The project as such has been plagued with controversies all alon
g. I am not sure whether the project has come free of all legal and social issues or not.
Ref: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/cms.dll/html/uncomp/articleshow?msid=744375
http://www.hdfcrealty.com/general/news120.htm


"Palm Beach Marg weaves across the outer reaches of Mumbai’s (erstwhile Bombay) satellite city, Navi Mumbai as it touches upon the supposedly upscale but largely empty high-rise apartments popularly known as NRI Seawoods Estate and terminates at the core of the Central Business District at Belapur...The remaining vacant apartments at NRI Seawoods complex were bought over by Reliance en masse supposedly to house their DAKC (Dhirubhai Ambani Knowledge City) employees few kilometers away. In fact, construction of the second stage of the NRI complex was to begin soon."

The thing with the complex is that...it lacks on attention to functional details at the building level. Though very expensive material has been used throughout, (to give it an international or world-class look) the buildings aesthetics are not that pleasing. I am a very inexperienced architect, and do not know the intricacies of the trade. But the sheer obscenity of the huge masses, without any attention to personal spaces or need of light and ventilation to individual apartments, does not appeal to me.

When we went to the complex, we met up with the maintenance engineer and a few residents. Everyone we met was unhappy with the design. The maintenance engineer gave vent to his frustrations over the whole breed of architects. The residents were unhappy with leaks in the expansion joints and inadequate shading design. Another major concern was the ground level parking. The opening for the parking was at a very low height. Even a sumo or a scorpio could barely pass through it.

I mean, expensive material is alright by me. But you got to provide what the residents need. The end user should get what they require to live happily.

The second project is the IL&FS building, at Mumbai.

I. L. & F. S.
Bandra Kurla Complex, Mumbai

Client :
Infrastructure Leasing and Finance Services
Design team : Hafeez Contractor, Arshed Ankolkar
Consultants : Parekh and Associates (RCC), HDFC Developers Ltd
(management), T H Chandrashekar, ESKAYEM (MEP)
Contractors :
Shapoorji Pallonji, (structural) Larsen and Toubro Ltd
Build-up area : 4.5 lakhs square feet
Year of completion : 1998


This one is huge building. Oval in plan, it really stands out from the rest of the buildings. You cannot question about the aesthetic beauty of the project. It is a beauty undoubtedly.

Rest tomorrow...

Saturday, February 24, 2007

The results of a political compass test i underwent recently
You are a

Social Liberal
(75% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(35% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Democrat











Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The PCOM returns!





So the PCOM returns.

It's a dark day at IIM Lucknow. All the students are terrified. What will happen to their future? Will they actually get placed? Without a placement, what will they do? Their entire life and indeed their very existence and future has come under question.

Amidst lightning and thunderclaps, a secret group meets, hidden somewhere in the labyrinths of the bureaucracy, they decide, they are not letting this happen. They won't let the future of the students be a question mark. They will ensure that every student will get a job. They will ensure that they themselves get a job.

They decided not to have any rules. They can anyways make one when they need. They decide to be anonymous. Their true identity might never be revealed. They can only be known as the PCOM. They would fight all evil at IIM L and swear themselves to the betterment of "all students" at IIM L. Speaking faster English than any other student at IIM it becomes their duty to talk to all company officials and restrain other students from doing so and destroying the reputation of the institution. The evil corporate becomes their greatest ally and the uncooperative student, their sworn enemy.

They have very sophisticated and advanced weapons, called fines and 'mandatory' rules to fight the uncooperative students. They also have a hoard of willing officials at their disposal in their quest to 'place the whole batch'. From that day onwards, the PCOM has been fighting a solitary battle. Outnumbered hugely, but braving all odds, they have till now always succeeded against the uncooperative students.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It seems that my little blog has generated much interest. Though the huge majority of reactions has been in support of the views expressed in my blog, I don't think there were many who agreed with each word of the blog.

To me, the most interesting ones have been the anonymous comments and the ones sent over messenger rather than on the comments section. Many were afraid of the reprisal they might receive from the mighty PCOM if they publicly endorse my views. The others were simply pissed off with my blog. And wanted to piss me off by being anonymous. I do not generally believe in stupid clarifications. They give the stupid comments a stupid dignity that they don't deserve. But for the benefit of some uninitiated people and a few troubled souls, here goes -

  • I was never in PCOM. I guess I never could be. My English is not that good. And I do not possess the sincerity levels that the committee demands. But above all is my desire to live. Hell, they kill people in there.
  • Yes, we are educated. I mean the IIM Lucknovites. And whatever we might have lacked before coming here, we are trying to fill in on that as well.
  • I agree absolutely with Anonymous(1) that
    "its to easy to crib from outside instead of adding some value to the system.....every system has some negatives.....and its very easy to highlight them"
    I also agree that I never
    "tried to think of any possible ways by which these negatives can be done away with"
    For the simple reason that I would like to consider myself a rational person. And knowing how the PCOM and the institute operates, I don't see the ways that I think up being possible.
  • Let me make it make it very clear - to the anonymous PCOM member, especially- DO NOT be under the impression that the PCOM places anybody. They are just a tiny part of a huge system that facilitates the process. They couldn't place themselves, if it came to that, leave alone the 'whole batch'. Without the system they are nothing. So, don't take undue credit. Yes you people do work your asses off. But who asked you to join? Don't give me the shit, that you are in there for my benefit, or for that matter anyone else's except yours. It is not exactly a secret why you joined the PCOM, right?
  • Anonymous(5):
    "Dude. Just one suggestion. If u get a chance do try and find out what Pcom actuall does and why."
    (actuall is a real word?) I had my chance. Sorry dude. Couldn't find out the why part. You are in PCOM, can you tell me the why? Oh, of course you would have given me the why part if you knew. With so much spite you hardly hold back anything.
  • I think by the time my placements come, the PCOM will think up a rule to disallow me. Maybe blogging isn't allowed or something. But yes, if I can, then I won't sit in the placement process.
  • A special note to my anonymous PCOM friend an Open challenge can be Anonymous? Of course, we are talking about the PCOM here. They can do anything. (and yes I really do love my lollipop)
  • I thank you dear PCOM member for having so elegantly shown me the way the way to start off with "respected", and end up with "you moron". That was quite skillfully executed. Only PCOM.
  • Anonymous(5)
    "As for the controls team.. forget it. Its beyond your retarded brain."
    See that's what I am talking about. Only the PCOM have able enough brains for all things which require more intelligence than reading the paper.
I am only an aam aadmi, pained with the system. The ways I can think up of by which my pain can be relieved are not accepted by the mighty PCOM. So I give vent to my ire through this blog.

But I am no revolutionary, bent on improving the standards of PCOM. No, I will suffer and pass out, hopefully with a job in hand. But I will not do that silently. I will tell them they are not good. And I will remind them of my pain, for I am the uncooperative student, their nemesis. I am not cowardly enough to be anonymous, but nor do I have enough bank balance or courage to fight the PCOM head on. I will put my name to whatever I have to say and do, and I will say and do it without fear or guilt.

a poem in your name

to write a poem in your name
i need verbosity beyond my name
for words too few
can never express you

whom do i compare you to?
can it be the morning dew?
oh no! beautiful though it seems
it lives by the day only in my dreams
lovely and precious like you
clear and true not more than you
but it is only morning dew.

do i liken you to the spring breeze?
for how it kisses my face with ease?
but it only flows in the spring
while every breath does your love bring
and it has but only one scent
and i know not still in how many ways
your heart towards me is bent

can the flowers be of any more help?
for they appear to be the work of an elf.
teasing me with thier fragrance and beauty
like you to me, as if duty.
but, oh, they wither with time.
though innocent and sublime
they are not what your heart is to mine.

do i then equate you to the moon?
for your voice, in the night, is a boon.
it shines in the darkness
throwing upon me the diving light.
But, no, the moon doesnt reflect all the light
but your voice it shines forth
and turns on me all the sparkles bright.

The sky is not blue enough for you innocence,
nor the sea deep for your passion,
nor no blossom quite your beauty.
No sun is brighter than your light,
nor no tree as kind.
So how do i write a poem in your name?
and to these lines, i give what name?

Saturday, February 17, 2007

The curious thing called the PCom

The Curious thing called Committee

The wikipedia definition for a committee is as follows:
A committee comprises a mechanism of bureaucracy or of proto-bureaucracy whereby a limited number of people receive delegated functions of government or administration.

Quite apt, I must say. Now, all I see the committees do, is give some arbitrary power to some arbitrary people, over some specific business. Now most committees are arbitrarily selected with the selection procedure made to look like some method. But rarely is there any method.

The PCom
There are hoards of committees here at IIM L. Now committees have a single purpose here. They are there so that everyone has something to write in their CVs. But one committee called the Placement Committee (or PCom for Lucknowvites) is quite different. It doesn't recruit people just for the sake of enhancing their CVs. It strives hard to have the best possible placement for all the students. When I say all the students, of course the PCom have their own definition of all the students. It acts for the best interests of these all students.

Now the placement process here at IIM L is quite different from what we have seen at the IITs. At the IITs, we have the process wholly run by officials and a few faculty members. There are at best some representatives from the student community in the placement process. Now here at IIM L the whole process is entirely (?) managed by the students. I am told, thats the norm across the IIMs.

The PCom People
The recruitment process for the PCom is quite fascinating as well. It's quite simple too. They try to kill you. If you survive, you are in. If more candidates survive than what they require, then they simply do a physical test to identify the people who made it thus far being the least sick among the lot. And take them to the Taj, or some such place, to give them their last good, full meal, before starting afresh on trying to kill them.

There are a few basic rules for the PCom people. They are required to adhere to these rules at all times.
  • Do not smile. Laughing is absolutely out of the question.
  • Treat all batch mates as you would treat the office peon when you are the CEO of a company.
  • You should be able to think up rules on the spot.
  • Always sleep in the class. If you find it difficult to sleep, then at least lie down on two seats and talk on the phone. If you have slept for 10 hours and have called all the people in your phone book, then you can argue with the teacher on some silly point.
There are also a few privileges granted to the PCom member by divine authority.
  • They can fine anyone as they please.
  • They can call anybody to any duty as they please.
  • They can start as late as they please.
  • They can do anything.
And of course, sorry for my oversight in failing to mention that, all this is done in the best interests of the batch and the institute.

Then there are few rules for the lesser mortal - the ordinary students - the aam aadmi.
  • Never ever question the wisdom of the PCom or their methods.
  • Silently, do whatever you are told to do.
  • Pay up fines when asked to. Do not question why.
  • The PCom cannot commit mistakes, so don't ever suggest something which might remotely hint at that.
  • Placements are the most important thing during your stay at IIM, so don't mess with the PCom guys ever.
  • If you see a PCom guy in the corridor, make way.
The Curious incidents involving the PCom

The PPT
The Pcom people have a few processes through which they take care of the placements of the entire batch. First up are the PPTs - Pre-Placement Talks, for the uninitiated. They are a marvelous ritual at the IIMs. The stated purpose of the PPT is to put innocent students compulsorily to sleep. As a by-process they also happen to let the students know more about companies and industries. All knowledge is compulsory. I mean, whether you need that info or not, is irrelevant. What is relevant is that the company has deigned to dispense that info. And the PCom people, in their infinite wisdom, have chosen you to be the receptor of that info. And that's all that's relevant. Did I hear you ask , " And what about the innocent student?" Oh forget it, what does he know?

The PPTs might occassionally be an attractive affair for the aam aadmi after all. Some companies, in an unusual gesture of kindness decide to gift something that is no longer required at the corporate headquarters. If it pleases the PCom then some students are allowed a gift. There have been incidents when the PCom people, in an unusually kind mood allowed people access to Pepsi bottles during the Pepsi PPT. But yes, of course don't imagine they would let the aam aadmi get spoilt with too much of Pepsi.

The Controls Team
The PCom select a bunch of people called the controls team. They are in charge of the placement process. Don't mistake me. They are in charge of handling the lesser mortals - the aam aadmi. Of course the PCom are in charge of the whole thing. That's why they pick the whole bunch consisting the controls team very carefully.

Nothing is random with the PCom. They put a lot of thought, even to the most inconsequential detail. The controls team is selected after careful searching for two months. Now the aam aadmi who is selected for the controls team is naturally exalted. If the PCom he is worthy of something, well he might be a star for all he knows. For the PCom to have recognized your potential means you have almost got a job. And that's why we are here at IIM L, aren't we? I am not suggesting the PCom pick their friends for the controls team. Frankly, I don't think that's possible. The PCom don't have friends. So how can they pick friends?

The PCom then tries to kill the bright and better students that do get selected for the controls team. I don't know why exactly this happens. Maybe the PCom want to eliminate the only people they perceive as their competition. Or maybe they want to take revenge on the whole mankind for what was meted out to them. But that's what they do.

The Liaison Team
The Liaison team are selected next. I told you, nothing is random with the PCom. So they assess the talents of around 240 people. And with their infinite wisdom they assign a certain role to each of the student that(yes, we don't usually use the word who for a student when we are talking about the PCom. It's too personal) are lucky enough to be picked as a liaison.
There are three kinds of members in each of the liaison teams:
  • The company liaisons: usually a lady and a gent. Their responsibility is a little less than that of a receptionist.
  • The Controls Liaison: A gent. His responsibility is a little more than that of an errand boy.
  • The Ops liaison: A gent. His responsibility is a little less than that of a peon.
The liaisons are given all sorts of gyan about etiquette, talking, groveling, bowing and curtsying before the company representatives who come for the placement process. Of course the PCom give this gyan. They have perfected this art over the years, and therefore are the best people.

The Others
Then there are the other teams. The systems and the Operations team. They are also secretly selected by the PCom. Of course the process has to be a secret. Otherwise people might try to break in. And of course, only the PCom have the wisdom necessary to judge who can work best in which position.
Naturally, some worthless students are left out and in no team. The PCom decides who deserves to sit out and who deserves to work. Of course the aam aadmi has got nothing to do with it. What does (s)he know? And of course, one guy who has some work and needs to out of the process can't swap with another undeserving student. These things are not random, remember?

Reminds me of this quote from Henry Kissinger, the erstwhile Secretary of State of the USA and a Nobel peace laureate.

"The issues are much too important for the Chilean voters to be left to decide for themselves."
"I don't see why we need to stand by and watch a country go communist due to the irresponsibility of its people."
Henry Kissinger commenting on Chile, prior to Augusto Pinochet's U.S.-supported / CIA-facilitated military coup against Chile's democratically-elected President Salvador Allende


Monday, February 12, 2007

What's become of Us? OR Where's the fun?

I was just going through a few blogs, when suddenly this thought came up in my mind. Now seriously, what has become of us?

I mean, we used to be a happy bunch earlier. At least that’s how I remember it. Someone told me that we always have fond memories of the past, and selectively remember things. So the past always seems to be happier than it actually was. That’s what nostalgia is all about I suppose. But even after I take that into account, still I can find countless things that we used to do earlier that simply don’t happen these days. And most of us lead a very mundane and drab kind of existence, just waiting for each day to pass, in the hope that, not in the very far future, we will be able to lead an exciting life, full of fun and thrills.

When I say we, it is basically means I with whatever companions that happened to be with me. Most of the times it would have one of my archi buddies from Kgp - Swapnil, Sallu, Maurya, Chachi, Pandu or Iyer. Or it would have been one of my wingies - Manas, VJ, Riz or the whole bunch.

Most of the guys listed above are in jobs now, working their asses off. They don’t have fun anymore. The ones who aren’t in a job, that is Iyer and me, are in IIML, again working our asses off(Okay, okay, yeah, only Iyer’s doing the working thing). We don’t have fun anymore.

I mean, yeah, I don’t work seriously, but I don’t have fun either. Watching movie is not entirely fun, when that is the entire fun you get, right? Yea, I do enjoy teaching, but that is not fun in fun sort of a way. I mean, I do enjoy teaching, but it’s still work that I just happen to enjoy. It’s not fun. Fun is something you have apart from the work. It’s when live your life. Where’s the fun?

We used to do a lot of stuff back at kharagpur, that was really fun. Yeah, we had our low moments, but the highs surpassed the lows by a few good miles. So it really didn’t matter at the end of the day. Anything didn’t go right, and off we went to Harry’s, Chhedis or some such place, and a ‘chai’ session would set everything right. Even the simple walks down the campus, or the trips to Salua, or the LAN games, those were all really fun.

Now, all I can hear around me, see around me, revolves around, marks, quiz scores, TGPAs, CGPAs, n lakh packages, PPOs, PPIs, placements etc. It makes me sick. Call me an escapist if you will. Call me lazy if you will. But, the truth is it really makes me sick to hear these things. I won’t crib about the true spirit of learning or any such crap, but somehow, this is not the way I want to live. I hate, yes, hate, any person who lives this.

What are we really after? Money? Nah. Everyone gets some. No one can have enough. As far as my eyes bring the picture to me, it’s all about ego. Just proving that you are that wee bit better than the next. Okay, if not better then at least at par with. That’s how it works in this world.

From childhood onwards we are fed the line, “just work hard this time and then everything will be peaceful.” Never actually was true. It never is peaceful. It’s always hardwork. Always.

6th class onwards.

You are now in high school. You have to study hard now. Till class 10th you have to study hard. After that, you can relax. Just work hard till 10th and you will get admission in a good10+2 school.

After 10th Exam. You have done well.

Now you have to really study well. It’s a short duration. Only 2 years. Not even 2 full years And there are so many entrance exams. And also the board exams. Study hard for these two years. Then you will get admission into a good college and your life is all set.

After getting into IIT KGP.

Study well and work hard for your graduation. This is what will determine where you will end up in life. Work hard and then you can relax for the rest of your life.

(I didn’t take them seriously anymore. I started living life.)

After graduations and getting into IIM L.

Just these two more years. And then you can rest assured of a a very pleasant life. Just these two years.

No I am not going back to where I was. I will live my life.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Raftar aur darr

Zindagi tez, bahut tez, chal rahee hai abhi,
darta hoon raaste kho na jaye mujhse kahin.

darta iss se bhi hoon ke manzil na dikhe kahin,
adnhera hi andhera na ho jab khule aankhein kahin.

darte rehne mein bhi maine payee hai khushi,
na darun to achanak se meri duniya na ho kahin.

iss na darne mein bhi chhupa hai mera khauf kahin,
na mila mujhko koi bhi nidar, dhondha maine, falak aur zameen.

kuch mile jinho ne kaha main darta hi nahin,
par unke har labs mein chhupee huee thee unkee dar bhi kahin.

darr se aisa mera rishta ho chala hai,
darr no ho to jee bhi to lagta nahin hai kahin.

- penned on the 18th day of July of 2007 by me.

it all replayed...

...i saw the vision divine
the radiant glow of her skin
the mesmerizing hold of her smile
the darkness before my eyes
...oh...and the joy!!!

...i held her hand in my hand
the soft touch of her presence
the luscious redness of her lips
the reassuring warmth of her touch
...oh...and the bliss!!!

...there was the other
the wicked way of his glance
the hard clench of his fist
the foul smell of the plot
...oh...and the agony!!!

...it all became clear
the heavy veil of secrecy
the unknown fear of the worst
the thin surface of the betrayal
...oh...and the anguish!!!

...it all replayed in my mind
the swift action of the hand
the searing pain of the blade
the darkness before my eyes
...oh...and the peace!!!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Kuch cheezein samet ke laya hoon

kuchh cheezein samet kar laya hoon
aise hi bin dhoondhe jinhe main paya hoon
kuch aisee cheezein jo bekaar si hain
kuch aisee cheezein jo darkaar si hain

kuch cheezein jalne-jalanewalee
kuch cheezein palne mananewalee
kuch cheezein jo bas rukee rukee
har pal dilko satanewalee

kuch cheezein man ko lubhanewalee
kuch cheezein raaz chhupanewalee
kuch cheezein jinse shuru hueen
koi kahani manpasand sunanewalee

kuch cheezein jinse khud darr jaun
kuch cheezein jinse auron ko daraun
kuch cheezein jinko dekh dekh
apna aur jagka darr bhagaun

kuch cheezein jo hain chhoti chhoti
kuch cheezein jo hain moti moti
kuch cheezein jo hain anant nashwar
na hain woh koi kharee khoti

kuchh cheezein samet kar laya hoon
aise hi bin dhoondhe jinhe main paya hoon
kuch aisee cheezein jo bekaar si hain
kuch aisee cheezein jo darkaar si hain

I am not the person you think I am

I am not the person you think I am,
'Cause I have forgotten myself.
I don't know any sins any long,
'Cause I have forgiven myself.

I am not here to count gains and losses.
I have lost myself, and gained others.
But I don't how to add up each.
I am not here to judge rights and wrongs.
I did charities as did I sin alongside.
But I don't know what takes you to heaven.

I don't have dreams or nightmares,
'Cause I woke up long ago.
I don't know what lies behind or beyond,
'Cause I have stopped looking.

Is it too much to ask?

is care too much to ask for?
why do i have to ask for love?
did i just hurt you by asking?
i just want to be taken care of

love me as i am,
love me for what i am,
love me the way i am.

don't ask me to change.
yes it is too much to ask.

welcome change

I can't see anymore...
Dusts raised by passing vehicles have blinded my eyes long ago...
My ears fails me...
They became numb to sound with the loud drum beats...
Touch doesn't affect me...my skin's been dulled by the whipping...

But yes...I can feel the change...
I can feel the change within and without...
I can feel the change...
Welcome change...be my guest

Make way for the Poet in me....

Yeah, I write a little bit of nothing and have decided to post'em poems on the blog. I wasn't blogging anyways. And it always happens to me that I write something and then forget to save it or delete it when I am in another mood. So I thought why not have these poems on the web.